Celebrating the Confederacy

Wow, I haven't blogged for a long time but I had to comment on the mess in Virginia, Confederate History Month, and what can happen if we just bury our heads in the sand and let conservatives take over leadership positions in November. Setting aside a month to honor people who died trying to preserve an unjust, immoral system is just plain wrong. If this is the message we want to send to our children, we are really on the wrong path in this country. When citizens are called to duty to fight for something that is WRONG, it is our moral obligation to stand up and say no! We shouldn't honor the people who go on and fight anyway. The Confederacy is not a period in this country that we should honor in any way, shape or form.

Why would I want to honor someone who died trying to keep my ancestors enslaved? Why would I respect someone who wants to hold them up as honorable? If a person dies fighting for something dishonorable, we don't set aside a day to honor them. People are so afraid of being called unpatriotic if they speak out against honoring soldiers who die fighting for the wrong side of a moral issue.

Patriotism is loving your country enough to criticize it -- enough to stand up and say no to traditions and practices that are unjust-- enough to shape it into a place that all it's citizens can be proud of, not just a few.

The Twitter Life Track

So... months after the lists feature was enabled in Twitter, I finally put everyone I'm following into a list. While doing this I discovered a really interesting pattern. Because the people I'm following are arranged chronologically, I could actually track where I was "mentally" at a given point in time based on the type of people I chose to follow. It was like a Twitter Life Timeline -- even more revealing than my tweets.

I started off with my sister who taught me how to actually use twitter (especially since my friends and contacts weren't tweeting yet). At first I focused primarily on environmentalism and green posts (probably because that was my area of expertise at work). Then post-layoff, my recovery phase, my focus shifted to positive thinking, life coaching and spirituality. Once I recovered (or at least recovered enough to move on) I switched to online marketing, business and finance -- apparently it was time to think about making some money. There was also a stint when I was trying to get my book finished and I added a lot of writers & publishers. And finally, there was a focus on following local people, progressives, and non-profits.

Now, it's a bit more random -- whenever someone of interest follows me, I reciprocate, but it has been interesting to follow my Twitter life track. I'm about 1 1/2 years old in Twitter age. Wonder what I'll discover next year.

Reducing the Intrusiveness of Phone Calls

There is something about consuming media on my own terms that is extremely attractive. As a baby boomer, I am very much a phone person. It takes so much less time for me to say something than to type it out --not to mention the fact that it seems to be a better way to build relationships, however, there is so much about the intrusiveness of the phone that I simply don't like. I feel the same way about all the junk mail that is constantly stuffed into my mail box. It bothers me that I have to walk down to the mailbox to pick up trash. On the other hand, there is so much about chat, e-mails, social media and texting that I do like -- I can consume them on my terms.

Today I am debating whether I will do even more phone calls for health care reform. There is a part of me that hates this calling, while the other side feels a bit guilty if I don't do it. So why do I hate it? Well it's not because the people on the other end of the lines are unreceptive. When they find out who I am and why I am calling, they are usually very receptive and great to talk to. As such, the question becomes, why do I dislike making these calls?

I think the crux of it is the intrusiveness of phone calls. I know there are a bunch of people out there who love it when the phone rings, but for many, it can be an intrusion. Of course, one can always choose not to answer, but there is that part of us that doesn't want to "miss" something or doesn't want to ignore a friend -- after all, it may be something important. Don't recognize a number.... well what if it's something of interest? Ultimately caller ID is not enough. We should have a subject notification that shows up also, where people type in or announce what they are calling for. Then all of a sudden screening becomes effective. We do this with messages & answering machines all the time. Why not make it real time?

Okay all you high tech gurus out there, we need a combo phone/texting/announcement mechanism. The phone rings. I don't recognize the caller so I press the button that requests that they text in or announce the subject. Then if I want to talk about that subject I pick up! Otherwise I can text back, no interest or call me later. Oh, and another thing. I need this by tonight.

The Real World

Life is all about lessons. This week, I learned a lesson about the real world. I learned that even though I'm not willing to give up, I have to accept that I can't always make things happen when others give up. And, that if I'm not in a leadership position, I may not even have a say.

Pre-lay-off, I operated a lot in the corporate world and the over-achiever world. Now, I'm out of those insulated environments, and I'm operating in the real world.

When I first came out of grad school, took my first jobs in marketing, and was given an assignment, failure just wasn't an option. Not in the sense that the program couldn't fail, but certainly in the sense that there wasn't a deadline I didn't meet, there wasn't a thing I felt I couldn't make happen. Of course, I couldn't guarantee success, but I could make sure the opportunity for success happened. I gave everything I had to everything I did, and I could be counted on to make it happen.

Now, as I venture into new worlds, I realize that making it happen, is sometimes outside of my sphere of influence. I learned this lesson early on with my children, and now, I am learning it from the projects I undertake.

This week, I learned just how prevalent "giving up" is. After giving everything I had to two projects which consumed as much time as a full time job, the people I was working with threw in the towel -- before we achieved the objective. This to me was inconceivable. Now it isn't.

And, what did I learn? I'm not sure. Is the answer always to operate from a leadership position? Is it to choose carefully which organizations you choose to work for? Or is it just to keep getting up and starting over?

I think, what I'll take away is to keep getting up and starting over.

Seize the Day Dems!

I've devoted the past several months, and every day this week totally to health care reform. I’ve attended rallies, met with congressional staff members, made phone calls and marched; and finally, for the first time since the election in Massachusetts, I am cautiously optimistic that we might actually get it done.

I'm optimistic because Senators like Harry Reid and Bill Dodd are finally speaking publicly, and forcefully, about getting the job done with or without the Republicans. Representatives like Congressman Anthony Weiner are plainly stating the facts on the house floor about our congressional members being a subsidiary of the insurance firms. It was clear in Thursday's summit that Republicans have no interest in participating in comprehensive reform. Congress has spent one year coming up with a bill. If they can’t get it done in that time frame, shouldn’t they be fired? Survey after survey shows that the American people want the reforms that are in the bill. It’s true, surveys also show that they don’t like the bill, but I am willing to bet that the majority of the people who don’t like it, don’t know what’s in it. They only know of a few things they don’t like. It’s like going to a restaurant, not liking a few things on the menu (that you have no intention of consuming), and condemning the restaurant as bad.

With a mechanism for success easily within reach, Democrats have no excuse for failure. They have already passed the bill. Now they just need to tweak it, to get rid of some of the “deals” they made. With only 51 votes needed for reconciliation, they no longer need the Leiberman’s of the world, and shame on any progressive House member who doesn’t vote for this bill it because it doesn’t go far enough. They have sick constituents that are counting on them. The writing is on the wall; it’s the end of the march of the wealthy. Democrats need to grasp their moment and run with it.

Seize the day, Dems…or...you’re fired!

Resilience

These days, when I pause from the computer screen to look out at the devastation that was left behind by the beautiful blanket of snow that enveloped all in site, I am reminded that often in life, something that once was beautiful leaves behind something that is not. The more the excitement and beauty, the greater the devastation, the deeper the wound.

So many slender tree trunks, I can now see, are not just bent, but broken. The snow that weighed down the branches day after day, allowing the deer to feed from the highest tips of the evergreen bushes simply grew too heavy for the branches to bear. Though rejoicing in the ability to sustain life, each was badly wounded in the process.

The recovery and clean-up will be long and difficult, but my mind also jumps to the opportunity that comes with replanting and renewal. This is the true test of resilience. How many hundreds, perhaps thousands of times in life are we asked to get back up with the same sense of motivation, hope, and renewal - no matter the depth of the wound?

And so, I view my life through this metaphor, knowing that these challenges are simply tests that I must embrace and conquer each and every time. Also realizing that if I build the trunk a little thicker, or perhaps make it more elastic, I can alleviate the suffering. But again, I question which is the way to go...elasticity or strength?

Closet Democrats

This is an interesting post to write, sparked by a conversation with a friend..... Several months ago I applied for a job at an organization that was predominantly Republican. It was in the home building industry which definitely leans right. While doing so, I wondered if some of my more political statements online might prevent me from landing the job, if I had an "online trail". Though my beliefs wouldn't affect my ability to do the job, they could impact how effective I could be if people responded by being less willing to work with me. Make no mistake, my politics shouldn't interfere, but they could if people weren't willing to look beyond them...

In the past, anytime I meandered into politics on the job, I was always disappointed, it was so right dominant. There was so little regard for others who may have lived or been born in "less fortunate" circumstances. No doubt, this might have been related to my choice of professions, but Republicans have always felt the freedom to be "out" in their corporate work lives, while Democrats seem to hide in the closet. We are afraid of losing our jobs, particularly in this economy where jobs are a bit scarce. When liberal became a dirty word, liberals in the corporate world retreated to their closets. What can be said of a society where liberal is a dirty word, but greed is not -- greed that almost brought this nation to its knees?

I've obviously made a decision to be "out". Will I go broke doing it? Maybe, but how can there be a progressive movement when half of the progressives are hiding in the closet? The answer -- there can't be. There is little strength in silence. We have to shift the dynamic in this country so that people can be "out" and still feed their families. Again, I am reminded of this much quoted Ben Franklin line...."They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety." Over the past years, I gave gained an added appreciation, of just how difficult, yet how important, this is to live up to.

Notes from a "Pseudo" Football Fan

I have to say, this was my first year watching the Super Bowl when I was truly cheering for both teams. Both teams had outstanding records during the season, and hence deserved to be there. I liked the Indianapolis Colts from the Tony Dungy days -- they just seem to be a classy team that did what it took to win, and I couldn't help wanting the city of New Orleans to have the "feel good" factor and financial boost from a Super Bowl win. But some other things happened while I was watching the game...

The first thing that got my attention was when I heard the announcers mention the name of the head coach for the Colts, Jim Caldwell. It was the first time I had ever heard his name mentioned during an NFL game. Now I'm not saying they never mentioned it before, I just never heard it. Pre-Super Bowl you would think Peyton Manning was coaching the team, because he's who the announcers always talked about and credited for the wins. Then, when the announcers mentioned a quote of Caldwell's, "When you're prepared, there's no reason to sweat", I couldn't help but respect him even more. It was a great quote (until they lost - maybe they should have been sweating a little more). I had first gained respect for Caldwell when he rested some key players, resulting in a few losses, a move he was highly criticized for but a move that made perfect sense to me. It seemed he was taking the low risk approach to the game -- work hard to prepare, then preserve your assets when you can -- easy choices.

The second thing that really impressed me during the game were the gutsy calls the New Orleans Saints coach, Sean Payton, consistently made throughout the game, and the way his players maintained a high level of performance, whether they delivered on the plays or not. It seemed he was taking a high risk approach to the game and the players stepped up to the challenge. In the end, the risks paid out for the Saints.

My take away from the game -- working hard and playing it safe may get you to the big game, but it won't get you to the top of the heap. The question is where do you want to be, at the top, or in the game?

Motivation & Renewal

Wow, what a week! I went from hosting a healthcare reform rally on Tuesday-- to completing my income taxes in order to file college financial aid forms for my son on Wednesday-- to kicking off a new website design project for a uniform retailer on Thursday-- to prepping for a meeting with students this evening to help coordinate a fundraising project-- and lots of mini-projects in between-- Whew, time to take a deep breath and chill for a second.

Despite the fact that I am wondering how I will ever meet all of my deadlines [particularly when, due to technical difficulties and a somewhat slowed thinking process, it took me two hours to complete a thank you letter this morning], I am approaching these projects with a renewed sense of motivation and purpose. That sense of motivation and purpose was spurred on by several things that happened this week:

The first, was the simple thank you I received from my son for his birthday letter that I blogged about earlier in the week. A reminder that something must be sinking in.

My second dose of renewal came upon hearing a healthcare horror story from one of the rally participants on Tuesday. This participant was dealing with a very serious health condition that could have been prevented if he had received health care earlier on in the process --health care that he couldn't afford because he could not afford insurance. Telling this story brought tears to his eyes, a reminder that for many this struggle is very personal.

My third dose of renewal came at the end of Presidents Obama's State of the Union speech.

"But remember this -- I never suggested that change would be easy, or that I could do it alone. Democracy in a nation of 300 million people can be noisy and messy and complicated. And when you try to do big things and make big changes, it stirs passions and controversy. That's just how it is....We don't quit. I don't quit. Let's seize this moment -- to start anew, to carry the dream forward and to strengthen our union once more."

... a reminder that this struggle will not be easy, and that victory only goes to those who stay in the race.

And lastly, while completing my taxes, I kept trying to figure out what was going wrong with the tax preparation software I was using in that I was ending up paying 0% on capital gains I had decided to take in my year of underemployment. As it turns out nothing was wrong. I owed nothing. It made me truly realize there must be something wrong with a system where I owed taxes on my earned income, but nothing on unearned income. This fueled me with even more incentive to continue on in the struggle to regain some degree of balance in this country between corporations, the wealthy, and those of us who work for a living [or did at some point -- almost forgot I don't really qualify as part of that group these days].

And so, I forge onward.

Transitions

My oldest son turned 18 today. I wanted to write him this moving letter that he would keep for the rest of his life. It was supposed to be about me letting go, hoping that I had equipped him well for life -- about him becoming a man and what that meant. But for some reason, today, I just didn't feel that eloquent. I spent hours putting together a montage of photographs from all the many houses we've lived in, and ended up sharing with him the few thoughts that came to me about life and growing up. For me, being a mom is all about doing my best, whatever my best is that day. Today I just wanted him to know that I loved him, was proud of him, and want him to experience the greatness that life has to offer with a balance of courage and humility.

After all my work crafting the very brief letter, he shared with me, with utmost sincerity, that it was a really nice letter. His appreciation made me glad I had tried. But, he also shared with me that I had a typo. Even with all the software graphics problems I was having, I did take the time to give him a corrected version. I wonder which one he'll keep. The one with the typo is so me.... I almost started not to change it.

On Compromises

One of the things I love about working from home, from my kitchen is that I feel like my office mates are the animals in my backyard. I still hate that the deer eat up everything in my yard, but I love the fact that they are there. So many times when I turn my head away from my computer screen to pause, or just think, I’m staring at one of my office mates. It could be a cardinal, a blue jay, a woodpecker, a fox, or my most frequent companions, the deer, staring back at me. Would I give up my officemates for some beautiful flowers or thick, green shrubs? No. Would I trade the light, welcoming, outdoor scent for the heavy offensive smell of deer repellant? No.

I guess life is full of compromises. This is one of the coveted win:win scenarios. I think all of us officemates are happy. They get food and cozy places to rest. I get company – and amazing, calming company at that.

In Celebration of King Day

It’s funny, each year I never plan far enough in advance to actually do something really meaningful in celebration of the holiday honoring Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Today, I intend to change that. Although it’s true that I haven’t really planned anything (and it’s already 12:00 p.m.); I have already used the day to remind people (via Facebook) of some of the ideals that Dr. King stood for. The most meaningful ideal for me is his stance on non-violence and activism. I think this country is at a point where its citizens can no longer sit idly by and let things happen. We really do have to take a stand. Additionally, the cause of non-violence is particularly relevant in this age of terrorism and pre-emptive violent actions. I believe Dr. King was totally on target with his belief that war and methods of violence are truly outdated leaving both the perpetrators and the victims worse off than before the initiation of the conflict.

And so, on this day I resolve to take further action to continue to advance the principles Dr. King stood for, and most importantly, I will start today!

Everyone Has Something to Teach

Last night I found myself watching the movie "Tyson". It's true, his life has been a bit of a train wreck, but I am intrigued by the stories of people who have achieved the pinnacle of success in their chosen profession. I find they seem to share a single minded focus and dedication to achieving that one thing. As such, I found I had something to learn from listening to Mike Tyson talk about his life. It reminded me of a quote from George Washington Carver, "There is a use for almost everything." In this instance, the movie got me thinking about the necessity of a single minded focus.

Being the person who I am, a person with multiple interests, I wonder if a single minded focus is the right thing for me. This kept me from blogging for quite a while as I couldn't decide how I wanted to "brand" myself online and how it might impact any future employment initiatives. I also recall times in my life where I did focus primarily on achieving some major goal, and with hard work and perseverance achieved it, beyond what I had truly believed to be possible.

It seems that the answer is staring me in the face. Yes, focus is critical; I just need to be sure to choose something that encompasses a broad range of my skills and interests.

The One Year Anniversary of My Layoff

So, I can't believe it is the one year anniversary of my lay-off. One year ago today, I was at home trying to figure out what to feel, what to do next, and how to put my life back together. It was a time of tears and relief, but definitely a moment I don't want to live through again.

Since that time I have written a book (that is yet to be published), indulged my right brain, dabbled in politics (strictly from an advocate point of view), focused on family and health, watched several soccer games, gotten on my teenagers nerves, played "housewife", caught up on the latest marketing trends in web & social media, and generally, as my aunt puts it, "practiced retirement."

But the reality is, I am still trying to figure it out. And there is one part of me that said, don't let this anniversary pass without acknowledging it. And, more importantly, don't let this next year pass without figuring it out.

And so, my challenge is to figure it out....to find myself before I turn fifty which is just over 13 months away. Besides, I'll need to figure something out to actually bring in an income.

I think I'll use this blog to help me get there.